Patiently Waiting

They say patience is a virtue. No way am I that virtuous. I know what I want, how I want it and I want it now. Or at least I think I do.

In a world where anything can be gained through a few key strokes, and everything is at the tip of our fingertips, why does it feel that what I want is so far out of my reach? These starving eyes want more than my belly can handle.

I want to save the world someday. How’s that for virtue?

But I also want to give my family everything that they deserve. Even if I have to snatch it from greedy hands and feed needy hands, where’s Sir Robin of Locksley when you need him.

It sort of amazes me how we idolize those with talents no short of minstrels. It’s kinda of a mockery of those who bust their ass day in and day out to make ends meet, and when the day meets its end, what’s earned that day is already spent because the cost of living demands some sick equilibrium where work minus living equals breaking even which equates to a broke evening. I swear I don’t want to live like that.

Ya’ll can keep the fame, the glory, the notoriety, the infamy, give me the opportunity and the resources and watch me make a way. But the only thing in my way is this lack of patience. This repugnance for waiting breeds lack of motivation, which is oxymoronic in a flavor all of my own. Truth be told, I want something the world can’t give but only time can. Ironically, time is my worst enemy, cause being a slave to the seconds is what’s killing me.

As I type, the revolutionary lyrics of Bob Marley cascade over my eardrums. I cringe at the thought of waiting in vain, setting my self-esteem so high to be knocked off my pedestal by that bitch reality and her harshness. I used to snicker at the irrational fear of the unknown but now I loath myself for being so arrogant, believing I was invincible. My aversion to waiting stems for the uneasiness of what’s to come. I can never be sure, so I curse time for keeping me in suspense. I feel like David up against Goliath, facing unbelievable odds, trying to conquer the unconquerable. But the only way to best the immortal Father Time is to prove I’m not lacking all virtue and develop patience, come to terms with a healthy fear of what I can’t possibly be certain of and be brave enough to wait and find out.